dr. prack
Hunter, I must warn you. My report will read AMA, that you were signed out of this hospital Against Medical Advice.
patch
My report will read IDGARA: I don't give a rats ass. And my name is Patch.

patch
I'm really starting to love the back of your head.

patch
The American Journal of Medicine has found out that laughter increases secretion of catecholamines and endorphins which in turn increase oxygination of the blood, relaxes the arteries, speeds up the heart, decreases blood pressure which has a possitive effect on all cardiovascular and respiratory as well as overall increasing the immune system response.

patch
Hi. Do I look thin to you. 'Cause I'm trying to lose some weight. Is this too much? Have I gone to far here?  I got a boner. I am a boner. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

patch
Welcome cold-handed ones. It's an honour to great-slash-welcome so many who have touched so many women in such a powerful way. Come on in, watch out, it's a little slippery. And if you think it's hot out there, whoa-oo, come on, come on.

patch
Everyone who comes to the ranch is a patient, yes. And everyone who comes to the ranch is also a doctor.
minister
I'm sorry.
patch
Every person who comes to the ranch is in need of some form of physical or mental help. They're patients. But also everyone who comes to the ranch is in charge of taking care of someone else-- whether it is cooking for them, cleaning them or even as simple task as listening. That makes them doctors. I use that term broadly, gentlemen, but is not a doctor someone who helps someone else? When did the term "doctor" get treated with such reverence as, "Right this way, Doctor Smith", or, "Excuse me, Doctor Scholl, what a wonderful footpads", or, "Pardon me, Doctor Patterson, but your flatulence has no odour." At what point in history did a doctor came more than a trusted and a learned friend visited and treated the ill? Now you ask me if I've been practicing medicine. Well, if this means opening your door for those in need, those in pain, caring for them, listening to them, applying a cold cloth until a fever breaks--if this is practicing medicine, if this is treating a patient then I'm as guilty as charge, sir.
minister
Did you consider the ramifications of your actions? What if one of your patients died?
patch
What's wrong with death, sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity and decency and God forbid, maybe even humor? Death is not the enemy, gentlemen. If we're gonna fight a desease, let's fight one of the most terrible deseases of all--indifference. Now, I've sat in your school and heard people lecture on transference and professional distance. Transference is inevitable, sir. Every human being has an impact on the oter. Why don't we want that in a patient/ doctor relationship? That's why I've listened to your teachings and I believe they're wrong. A doctor's mission should not just to prevent death but also to improve the quality of life. That's why you treat a desease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I garantee you- you win, no matter what the outcome. Now, here today this room is full of medical students. Don't let them anesthetize you. Don't let them numb you out to the miracle of life. Always live in awe of the glorious mechanism of the human body, let that be the focus of your studies and not a quest for grades which will give you no idea what kind of doctor you will become.
minister
Mr. Adams, please try and address to the board.
patch
Don't wait till you're on the ward to get your humanity back. Start interviewing skills, start talking to strangers. Talk to your friends. Talk to wrong numbers, talk to everyone.
minister
Mr. Adams!
patch
And cultivate friendship with those amazing people in the back of the room--nurses that couls teach you. They've been with people every day. They wade through blood and shit. They've a wealth of knowledge, and so do the professors you respect--the ones who are not dead from the heart up. Share their compassion. Let that be contagious.
minister
Mr. Adams, I demand that you turn and address the board.
patch
Sir. I--I want to become a doctor with all my heart. I wanted to become a doctor so I could serve others...and because of that I've lost everything, but I've also gained everything. I've shared the lives of the patients and staff members at the hospital. I've laughed with them. I've cried with them. This is what I wanted to do with my life. And as God is my witness no matter what you decision today, sir, I will still become the best damn doctor the world has ever seen. Now, you've the ability to prevent me from graduating. But you can't control my spirit, gentlemen. You can't keep me from learning. You can't keep me from studying. So you have a choice--you can have me as a professional collegue... passionate..or you can have me as an outspoken outsider, still adamant. Either way, I'll probably still be viewed as a thorn. But I promise you one thing. I'm a thorn that will not go away.

dean walcott
Well, I'm happy to you've finally decided to conform.
patch
More than you know, sir.