Summary

Orphan Peter Banning has grown up to be a cutthroat merger and acquisitions lawyer, and is married to Wendy's granddaughter Moira. When Captain Hook kidnaps his son and daughter, Peter discovers that he is really Peter Pan, and he returns to Neverland with Tinkerbell. With the help of Tink and the Lost Boys, he must remember how to be Peter Pan again in order to battle Captain Hook and save his children.

Quotes

Tootles
Have to fly. Have to fight. Have to crow. Have to save Maggie. Have to save Jack. Hook is back.
Peter
Who?

Granny Wendy
It's time to tell you, at last.
Peter
Tell me what?
Granny Wendy
How far back can you remember, Peter?
Peter
I remember the hospital on Great Ormond Street. You worked with orphans. You taught me to read. You arranged for the adoption by my American parents, Hank and Jane Banning.
Granny Wendy
You were 12, nearly 13. I mean, before that.
Peter
There's nothing before that.
Granny Wendy
Try, Peter. Do try.
Peter
Nothing.
Granny Wendy
You know, when I was young... no other girl held your favour the way I did. I had expected you to alight on the church and forbid my vows on my wedding day. I wore a pink satin sash. But you didn't come.
Peter
Grandma?
Granny Wendy
Yes, I was an old lady when I wrapped you in blankets. A grandmother. With my 13-year old granddaughter asleep in the bed. Moira. And when you saw her... that was when you decided not to go back to Neverland.
Peter
Where?
Granny Wendy
To Never Never Land.
Peter
Moira!
Granny Wendy
You have to make youself remember.
Peter
Remember what?
Granny Wendy
Peter, don't you know who you are?

Peter
Firefly from hell! Big damn bug!

Peter
I do not believe in faeries.
Tink
Every time someone says "I do not believe in faeries," somewhere a faerie falls down dead.
Peter
I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAERIES!!!

Tink
All right. Now, who am I?
Peter
Uh, you're... uhm... you're a complex Freudian hallucination, having something to do with my mother. I don't know why you have wings, but you have very lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person and what am I saying? I don't know who my mother was, I'm an orphan and I've never taken drugs, because I missed the sixties, I was an accountant.
Tink
Guess again!

Peter
Where are your parents? Who's in charge here? No. No, Mr. Skunkhead-with-too-much-mousse, you're just a punk kid. I want to speak to a grown-up!
Rufio
All grown-ups are pirates!
Peter
Excuse me?
Rufio
We kill pirates.
Peter
I'm not a pirate. It so happens I am a lawyer!
Rufio
Kill the lawyer!
Lost Boys
Kill the lawyer!!!
Peter
I'm not that kind of lawyer!

Rufio
Eat your heart out, you crinkled, wrinkled fat bag!
Peter
You're a very ill-mannered young man, did you know that?
Rufio
You slug-eating worm.
Tink
Come on, you can do better than that!
Peter
I can't believe you're encouraging them.
Rufio
Show me your fastball, dust brain! You paunchy, sag-bottomed puke-pot!
Lost Boys
Bangerang, Rufio!
Peter
You're a very poor role model for these kids, you know that? I bet you don't have a fourth grade reading level.
Rufio
Hemorrhoidal sucknavel.
Peter
Someone has a severe caca mouth, do you know that?
Rufio
You're a fart factory! Slug-slime sack of rat guts and cat vomit, cheesy scab, picked pimple-squeezing finger bandage! A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Peter
Substitute chemistry teacher.
Thud Butt
Come on, Rufio, hit him back.
Rufio
Mung tongue!
Peter
Math tutor.
Rufio
Pinhead.
Peter
Prison barber!
Rufio
Motherlover!
Peter
Nearsighted gynecologist!
Rufio
In your face, camel cake!
Peter
In your rear, cow derriere!
Rufio
Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig!
Peter
You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude!
Thud Butt
Bangerang, Peter!
Rufio
You... you man! Stupid, stupid man!
Peter
Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger, why don't you just EAT ME?! You two-toned, zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farming, paramecium brain munching on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!
Don't Ask
What's a paramecium brain?
Peter
I'll tell you what a paramecium is! That's the paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain that can't fly! Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

Peter
Let me in! Please.
Jack
Excuse me, do you have an appointment?
Peter
What did I tell you about this window? Always keep it open!

Peter
I have to take this. Brad?! Have you ever known what it's like to feel the total exhilaration of really flying? Feel this.