garp
My name is T.S. Garp.
helen
What does the T.S. stand for?
garp
Terribly sexy. I used to be terribly shy, but I changed.
helen
I'm helen holm.
garp
Oh, Holm sweet Holm. Our new wrestling coach here
is named Holm. Boy, what a hard-ass! We call him "Holm
sweat Holm".
helen
He's my father. I'm his daughter. We're the Holm team.
garp
Oh. Take care. Asshole.
garp
Well?
jenny fields
It's uh.....a bit thin.
garp
Yeah, it's not the quantity that counts.
jenny fields
Thank God for that! This is good enough for me.
garp
That's not very artistic, though.
jenny fields
Well, I'm not an artist. I'm a nurse and it's about
time I got back to it.
garp
I wanna be an artist, and I want to know what you
thought of it.
jenny fields
I'm not sure I understand it.
garp
Mom, it's very simple. He can do wonders when he's
wearing his magic gloves. If his wife is sad, he touches
her with his gloves, she's happy. If his children
are crying, he touches them, and they smile. But he
can't feel them! He yearns to feel. He can even hold
off death with his magic gloves, but he can't feel
life. So, he takes off the gloves, and he dies. But,
he finally feels life as he's flying into the arms
of death.
garp
We'll take the house.
helen
garp!
garp
Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house
are astronomical. See? It's been pre-disastered. We're
going to be safe here.
garp
Nobody is buying my novel. I'm starting my second and the same nobodies are going to line up not to buy that one too.
garp
We are civilized people, and civilized people obey
rules! You Neolithic dipshit!
babysitter
What does T.S. stand for?
garp
Terribly Sad. I used to be Terribly Sexy, bu... but
I changed.
babysitter
Oh, I don't think so.
garp
Really?
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