[to
his mom, who was in the audience]
Oedipus, Shmedipus, I love you, momma.
We should go with the show real quick because people
are going: “We paid good money now. The people
of Marin paid more then good money, they paid beyond
money. Those people are so damn wealthy they don’t
get the crabs, they get the lobsters. A couple of
months they had a white shark off the coast of Marin.
The people were going: “Thank God, at least
it was white!”
While you've been here, gay men have broken in your home
and redecorated it.
Right now people are going:"What the hell is he doing
now?!" Hahaha....catch up!
If alcohol is the crutch, then Jack Daniels is the wheelchair.
[sound of a police siren outside] Oops, here comes
my ride.
Look! A Polish walk man radio.
A camera! Wait, let me give you a very special picture.
Give me the camera, I’ll give it back. Hold
on, let’s see, okay. Here’s a little Japanese
man having sex. Focus, Focus, damn it! Let’s
see, I’ll give you a very special picture. There
you go! Yes, I’m glad you have the wide angle
lense on there. I can’t wait till you get that
to photoMet. "My God, what is that? An anaconda
pressed against to a plate glass window, what is that?!"
Maybe you can send it to the National Geographic,
going: “it’s the Loch Ness Monster”.
And some scientist going: "My God I didn’t
know it had only one eye"!
[As E.T.] Elliot? Elliot? Ouch. I'm standing on my testicles.
Tiberon from the Spanish word Tiberón, meaning condominium.
Condominium from the Latin word meaning: "to
overcharge for no reason"
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