Summary

How far would an ordinary father go to spend more time with his children? Daniel Hillard is no ordinary father, so when he learns his ex-wife needs a housekeeper, he applies for the job. With the perfect wig, a little make-up and a dress for all occasions, he becomes Mrs. Doubtfire, a devoted British housekeeper who is hired on the spot. Free to be the 'woman' he never knew he could be, the disguised Daniel creates a whole new life with his entire family.

Quotes

Daniel
Well, in the words of Porky Pig, p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-piss off, Lou.

Daniel
Ja, my name is Ilse Himmelman and I want to know how many children do you have?
Miranda
I have two girls and a boy.
Daniel
Ah, a boy. I don't work with the males 'cause I used to be one.

Daniel
If I find the misogynistic bastard that invented heels, I'll kill him.

Daniel
Newspaper? You taking out one of those personal ads? It's "DWF seeks WWM with BMW with light B&D".

Daniel
May I see the ad? Miranda, just let me look at the ad. I have a right as their father, please?
Miranda
Anything else you want to see?
Daniel
Are you offering?
Miranda
Not any more.
Daniel
What's the change?

Mrs. Sellner
As a court liaison I will be looking at two things--your living environment.
Daniel
It's more like a habitat, really.
Mrs. Sellner
And I will be coming by on Monday and Friday evenings to inspect it.
Daniel
Well, I'll put on the chicken.
Mrs. Sellner
And of course, there's always the job issue. This is the nearest employment office. I've taken the liberty of making an appointment for you.
Daniel
Thank you.
Mrs. Sellner
Oh, by the way, do you have any special skills?
Daniel
Oh, yes, I do. I do voices.
Mrs. Sellner
What do you mean, "you do voices"?
Daniel
Well, I do voices. Yes!
We've come to this planet looking for intelligent life. Oops, we made a mistake.
Happy to be in America, don't ask for a green card.
And I want you in the worst way.
Well, it's a silently rough meeting and it's not going very well for me, I'll tell you that. Hey boss, give it a chance, she's gonna loosen up any moment.
Look at me right now, Henny Penny. I want to undo that bow and get to know you.
I'm crazy to make a deal with you.
Nancy and I are still looking for the other half of my head.
This is it. I'm doing it. I'm sitting on a goldmine.
Don't make me smack you, sweetheart. Or I'll do it.
Figaro!
I do a great impression of a hotdog.
Mrs. Sellner
Mr. Hillard, do you consider yourself humorous?
Daniel
I used to. There was a time when I found myself funny... but today you've proven me wrong. Thank you.

Daniel
How's the old battle-ax... Mom?

Mrs. Doubtfire
I hope you're up for a little competition.
Stuart
I beg your pardon?
Mrs. Doubtfire
She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her personal jackhamer. She could break sidewalks with that thing. She uses it, and the lights dim. Like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.

Mrs. Doubtfire interview

The Collectors' Edition Laserdisc of Mrs. Doubtfire contains an interview where Robin interviews Mrs. Doubtfire. Here's a transcript of that interview:

Robin
Hello, my name is Robin Williams and I'm here with a very special guest. On the set of a new movie, Mrs. Doubtfire, and here's the star herself: Euphegenia Doubtfire.

Robin
What are the reasons why you applied for this job?
Mrs. Doubtfire
It's something exciting you know!
Robin
You have very large hands. Has it affected your performance in any way?
Mrs. Doubtfire
Oh, no dear. You know what they say: "Big hands, big gloves. Big head, Big hat." I don't know where I come up with that.
Robin
Well, big bones.
Mrs. Doubtfire
Big boned, that's what my mother said: "Euphy, you're big-boned."

Robin
How did you like working with Chris Columbus?
Mrs. Doubtfire
Oh my God, he's such a young man. I don't know whether to work with him or nurse him. He's just so young. I don't even know if he drives, you know. He probably just sits on a phonebook. I don't know. You just want to go: "Where is your mommy?"
Robin
Did you like working with Sally Field?
Mrs. Doubtfire
Any moment I'd expect her to take off. I don't know if she was a nun or a sybil. Shhh, let me finish.
Robin
Let me finish.
Mrs. Doubtfire
She's so good.
Robin
All of those parts... she's astonishing.

Robin
And the children, did you like to work with these fabulous young child-actors?
Mrs. Doubtfire
The children are magnificent. They're all just so right.
Robin
Now for the really loaded question. How did you like working with me?
Mrs. Doubtfire
How did I like working with you? Well, you're disturbed, really. What can I say: "better late than never."
Robin
You're not in great shape yourself anymore.
Mrs. Doubtfire
I've seen you lookng with envy at my shoes, and... my bra.
Robin
Waiting for you all that time. I don't know what you do for 4 hours.
Mrs. Doubtfire
I can sense it in your eyes.
Robin
Fine, all right!
Mrs. Doubtfire
You're very unusual, I think very gifted in many ways. You're very gifted for what you do.
Robin
Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
Mrs. Doubtfire
Commit. You only have to do one take. Find what you want to do and do it. Not a hundred different things. It's funny I'm talking to you like this.
Robin
That is certainly the case.
Mrs. Doubtfire
I feel like your mother, I want to nurse you... maybe it's because of these...
Robin
Is she something, or what!

Robin
What is it you can give us by way of beauty tips? Things that make you feel more you?
Mrs. Doubtfire
Yeah. Shave as often as possible.
Robin
Thank you for being here today with us. You, me, whoever we are.
Mrs. Doubtfire
Oh God, we'll come back later then. This has been quite lovely. God bless you.
Robin
We'll be right back with a live interview with Charlton Heston and his hair. Thank you.